Finding My Father, Finding Myself

Dear Chee,

I know there are questions you carry that nobody seems able to answer.

Questions about where you came from.

Questions about who you look like, other than your mom.

Questions about why certain pieces of your story feel unfinished.

For years, you’ll wonder about your biological father. You’ll imagine what he might be like, whether he ever thinks about you, and if you’ll ever have the chance to know him.

What you don’t know yet is that your search won’t be a journey you take alone.

One day, a combination of technology, determination, and the kindness of others will change everything.

Ancestry.com will provide important clues, but one of the greatest blessings along the way will be a kind, dedicated niece named Brittney. Refusing to let your search end with unanswered questions, she will use the power of social media, personal connections, and her own determination to help piece together the puzzle.

When leads seem impossible to follow and answers remain just out of reach, Britney will continue searching.

Her belief that your story mattered and that your family deserved to be found will help make the impossible possible.

Because of her generosity, persistence, and willingness to help someone she cared about, a door that had been closed for decades will finally open.

And on the other side of that door, you’ll find your father.

Not just a name on paper or a face in an old photograph, but a real person.

And when you finally meet him, you’ll discover something wonderful.

You’ll discover where your sense of humor comes from.

But that’s not all.

You’ll discover where your love of storytelling comes from, too.

Your father could tell a story in a way that made everyone lean in a little closer, laugh a little harder, and stay a little longer. You’ll quickly realize that gift lives in you as well.

You’ll also discover that neither of you ever met a stranger.

Wherever he went, he found a friend. Wherever you go, you do the same.

The warmth, curiosity, and ability to strike up a conversation with anyone wasn’t something you learned. It was something you inherited.

He was kind.

He was funny.

And even though you won’t have nearly as much time with him as you wish, the time you do have will matter.

In February 2024, you’ll have to say goodbye.

That loss will hurt.

There will be moments when you’ll wish you had found him sooner. More conversations. More holidays. More memories.

But don’t let yourself stay there too long.

Because one of the greatest gifts your father gives you won’t be something he says.

It will be someone he introduces you to.

Your sister, Tatyana.

Ten years younger than you, beautiful, funny, sweet, and everything you never knew you were missing.

And through Tatyana comes another unexpected gift, your nephew, Copeland, whose humor and joyful spirit will remind you so much of the family you found.

As you continue learning about your roots, you’ll uncover an even larger story.

You’ll learn about your great-great-grandfather, John Horn, and his wife, Alice Horn, who raised sixteen children, affectionately known as the “Sweet 16.” Their daughter, “Little Alice,” became the mother of your grandfather, Jack Hughes Sr.

What begins as a search for one man will become the discovery of an entire family legacy.

You’ll find cousins by the dozens. The Horn family roots run deeper than you ever imagined.

You will learn that a close friend and sorority sister of more than 20 years is your cousin.

You’ll discover family connections stretching across generations.

You’ll hear stories that make you laugh, stories that make you cry, and stories that help you understand yourself in ways you never thought possible.

Learning this information will change your life forever.

Not simply because you found your father, but because you found your people.

You’ll discover that family is more than biology.

It’s connection.

It’s shared stories.

It’s laughter.

It’s belonging.

And you’ll learn that sometimes the answers you’ve searched for your entire life arrive through unexpected places, a DNA test, a social media connection, a determined niece, and a family waiting to welcome you home.

So, younger me, when you feel like something is missing, don’t lose hope.

One day you’ll find your father.

One day you’ll find your sister.

One day you’ll find your nephew.

One day you’ll find countless cousins.

And through them, you’ll find pieces of yourself.

The journey won’t be perfect.

It will be bittersweet.

But it will be beautiful.

And it will change your life forever.

With love and gratitude,

Your Older Self